http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/JI4O1ZWQNXg/shaq_cavaliers_start_to

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/shaq_cavaliers_start_to?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

CLEVELAND—After strapping on inline skates for the first time ever Monday, Cavaliers center Shaquille O'Neal and his new teammates bonded while Rollerblading through the streets of Cleveland.

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/oMhUyCtzgY0/college_freshman_makes_triumphant

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/college_freshman_makes_triumphant?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

COCONUT CREEK, FL—"I'm back, Bayshore High," 18-year-old Henry Doyle announced as he pulled his mother's Toyota Camry slowly into the parking lot normally reserved for faculty, emerging with a knowing grin. "Bet you never thought you'd see the likes of me again!"

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020868.html

Girlfriend: Learn anything new today?
Boyfriend: How to say "sexual offender" in Japanese!

--Central Park

Overheard by: lynn

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020867.html

Cute Asian girl: I feel like I'm in high school again, except the person I'm dating is female and a really good kisser, and the guy I'm plotting to seduce is my professor. What's wrong with my life?
Friend: I think you need to either learn to live without penis, or realize that kissing men isn't scary.
Cute Asian girl: Kissing women is scary too! But I happen to really enjoy kissing Christina.
Friend: Okay, so if you want to do your professor so badly, don't you think he might be a good kisser too?
Cute Asian girl: There are so many things you can do with a guy that don't involve kissing...
Friend: Again... Get over penis or start kissing men!
Cute Asian girl: It isn't that simple!

--Uptown 2 Train

Hey, guys.

Lately (by this I mean both the last week and to some extent, the past year or more) I've been all about cats and whatall else I don't even know, but it's certainly not incisive, witty social commentary and four-alarm swearing, and for that I want to . . . I don't know. Apologize, I guess.

But Naamah, you will protest, it's your journal. You don't have to apologize for jack shit! And you would be right about that.

But I really do wish I had the spoons to get into the 36 pages of thinky feminist shit I have written and just haven't posted yet. I wish I had the spoons to add to the 14 pages on mental illness I already have. I wish I had even one spoon to begin excavating the hideous morass of my thoughts on gender and sexuality, since I have only the vaguest idea what's under there, myself.

I want to do more, and I just don't have the energy for it. I'm tired most of the time. I don't have energy for my own creative crap right now. It's taking me three days to answer email. I have filtered things so that I'm only reading about a third of my f-list, and only barely skimming that. Have you even looked at my comments? I hardly say anything, I barely respond to anyone. And it's not because I don't care. It's just because I'm this bizarre sort of exhausted. I don't know. Burnt-out?

I'm not in a bad place emotionally or anything. I am actually far less depressed than I have been. Still, I'm sure not at my best in terms of what I am getting accomplished. I feel bad about that.

Right now I am dead tired and need to brush my teeth and go to sleep so I can get up bright and early tomorrow and try to finish this goddamn art project before it kills me. And I will try to dig up something interesting and meaningful to talk about.

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ICanHasCheezburger/~3/wiJPHHfnrY4/

http://icanhascheezburger.com/?p=207859

Okay, so siliconshaman has taken in this cat. Griselda. This . . . this brave little mess of a cat. She's doing pretty well, but she needs medical care before she can be adopted out.

She is blind and FIV-positive, and probably also has hypertension. There are shelters that might take her, but only if she is healthy (as healthy as a blind cat with FIV can be, since neither of those things is going to go away). Right now she has a probably-benign tumor on her shoulder that needs to be removed and checked out, and she needs some more blood tests. This is not free stuff.

Griselda . . . well, she looks like my Mocus. She was taken in when she was in a pretty sorry state, let me tell you, but she is doing well, gaining weight, and all that. She just needs a little more care to make it all the way and make her as adoptable as a disabled kitty can be. Nothing that is wrong with her is a death sentence. Nothing that is wrong with her means that she doesn't have many good and loving years left in her. Some stories really get to you. This one gets to me. I would really like to see her helped. So any help you could give would be welcome.

There are pictures of her here and here. That second link is to pics right after she was taken in and cleaned up, so she looks pretty pitiful, and there's one pic that's slightly icky because it shows a small wound, so if that would be upsetting to you, maybe just check out the first link. She's beautiful. Even in a sorry state, she's beautiful. And she deserves a chance.

Story here, continues here.

If you can donate a little, please do. Donations are being taken via Paypal here and here.

If you are in England, specifically Yorkshire, and can offer a disabled kitty a home, please consider doing so. Special-needs kitties are as easy to love as any other kitty.

If you are not in England and can't donate, boost the signal, would you? Helping one cat is never helping "just one cat." It's making a difference. A small, furry difference.

During photography class, we were shown Richard Billingham's photos and I found this:

( best art photo ever )

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020866.html

Bag lady to white guy whistling "When the Saints Go Marching In": Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm... Ummm... sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!

--L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man

Hey community! I promised some of my non-LOLcat-familiar friends that I would teach them about the LOLcats that started it all... but going through my archives, I realized I'm missing some important ones, such as "I are Serious cat" and "Happycat has run out of happy."

Anyone got these formative cat macros handy? Or any other important old cat macros that may come in handy?

For legal purposes, I will show some of my favorite macros that always make me laugh:



( Moar bribes here! )

Thanks for your help!

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/uclick/redmeat/~3/Qq6vamouJWE/458788

Red Meat for Saturday, November 07, 2009

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020865.html

Teenage girl #1: And she was trying to convince me that Florida is north of New York!
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, some people are so stupid! North of us is like... Delaware!

--Hudson & Gansevoort

Overheard by: Laura

Don't think I've seen this one here before

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020864.html

Hispanic teenage girl #1: I don't know about that girl. She just don't fit in with our group.
Hispanic teenage girl #2: Yeah, she think she ghetto fabulous, but she just ghetto.

--Brooklyn

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ICanHasCheezburger/~3/Lj4C_-fQwqQ/

http://icanhascheezburger.com/?p=206882

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ICanHasCheezburger/~3/hQQ3Ziy3hdM/

http://icanhascheezburger.com/?p=208030

http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/weekly/~3/Koo0D0CKs1g/scientists_dissect_coworker_0

http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/scientists_dissect_coworker_0?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland